Because I use this blog mainly for journaling purposes, and because this is likely my last pregnancy, I wanted to take a moment and write about a few of the things I'm feeling. As I fully expected, this is all going way too fast. I wish I could just slow things down for a minute. I feeling like I don't even have time to adjust to what's new before it's over and gone. It's hard not to feel a little sad about it. Just another chapter in life that's coming to a close - I imagine it doesn't ever get easier to do that.
Life has been pretty good to me lately. The girls are so excited to add another baby to the family. Hannah is so impatient about the whole thing - she asks me every day if the baby is still in my tummy and if it's ever going to come out. I've explained that it takes a long time before Baby is ready to be born, but that means nothing to her - she just really wants to see that baby - NOW!
Adell is excited, but a little more practical about the whole thing. She feels a lot of responsibility as a big sister, and adding another baby is a lot for her. She's really hoping the baby is a boy, so it'll even things out a little for Dad. She loves to point out how big my belly is getting.
Mia just likes to point to my belly and say "cute!" I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a clue there's a baby in there, but she's watched her big sisters do the same thing, so now she does too.
This has been, so far, the easiest pregnancy I've endured. I was so sick with Mia that I really worried about how I'd cope if it was like that again. Fortunately, I have had virtually no morning sickness - and it's been soooooooo nice. I had one terrible, terrible day when I was about 12 weeks, but I'm convinced that whatever was going on with me that day was not morning sickness. Other than that, I've been feeling really well.
My more difficult symptoms to deal with have been the fatigue and hunger. The fatigue was pretty rough in the beginning - it was all I could do to make it through a day, but that's eased up a lot since I entered the second trimester. I even have energy to exercise, which is really nice.
I had some weird hunger issues that were driving me insane. It was this crazy, desperate hunger that I could not figure out. It didn't seem to matter what I ate, when I ate or how much I ate, I simply could not satisfy the hunger pangs. It was so crazy! I've never experienced anything quite like it. It would wake me up at night, prevent me from sleeping, have me in tears through out the day - I just couldn't get away from it! I remember thinking if I could just have a 10 minute break were I didn't feel that insane hunger, I would be okay, but it never let up! Going to 3 hours of church was torture - I took snacks, but they were never enough, and it was hard to be discreet about it - especially since I was sitting with 4-year-olds in Primary.
I ate and ate and ate - and cried when I went to my first baby appointment and had to face a scale.
I tried everything I could think of to help the situation. I tried to eat a good clean diet with complex carbs. I loaded up on fruits and vegetables. I tried almonds and whole grain foods. I drank lots and lots of water. I tried to just ignore it. I tried not ignoring it and eating everything I could stuff in my mouth. I tried breaking up meals into 6 smaller meals with healthy snacks in between. Nothing seemed to help very much. The doctor told me it wasn't anything to worry about - my body was in some sort of hyperactive state - burning through calories too quickly, hormones messing up my natural chemistry - everything was putting my body in this super high demand mode. I'd just have to wait for it to get better.
As the first trimester ended, I did see improvement. I'm still hungry a lot, but at least it's manageable, and I don't feel that constant desperation. I'm also able to get some good sleep, which has helped tremendously. There's no worse feeling than constant nagging hunger that won't give you a break. Seriously, it felt like it was taking over my whole life!
I'm now into my second trimester and feeling great. I have energy, stamina, and I'm feeling good. I am LOVING the warmer weather that gets us all out of the house and enjoying the sunshine. My plan is to take things slowly and try to enjoy being pregnant. I'm just starting to feel those first little kicks, which is my favorite part of pregnancy.
In a couple weeks we get to have an ultrasound and hopefully find out the gender. I'm really feeling impatient about that for some reason. Of course, I can't help hoping it's a little boy, but I'll be happy with another little girl too - we make really beautiful girls around here. I truly believe whatever happens is all part of the plan, and I will fully enbrace whatever that may be. Healthy and happy are what I'm praying for.
I'm looking forward to a healthy, active summer with my girls!
